With all this panic around carmageddon, the streets are relatively traffic free. At least for a Saturday afternoon. We say what we can and we do what we say. Isn't that right? My favorite was the four dollar flight from Burbank to Long Beach. How funny is that? Nah, I'd rather fly. Seriously though, the 10 freeway is green to the beach. I'm thinking of beaching it today. All this carmageddon talk is tiring me out. Seriously.

I want to take in some sun, get even more tan than I am. I want to sing and dance and sing and dance again. Oh. Right. I can do that now.

We left early from work, only an hour or so, since they said traffic was a mess. I tried my best to make this work, but it also didn't make any sense. There was hope in their eyes.

Last night when I was sleeping, Mr. Matt went to the bar and talked with Calvin and Eddie and some other people and he sat at the bar and he drank some beer and I was sleeping this whole time and when he came back and sat on the bed at 3AM I didn't believe him at first. I had passed out with my clothes on, my head nestled on the bare mattress, feet dangling off the bed. I was just so tired, so tired, and that damn fan was blowing. I don't like cold air. I don't like AC blowing. I like hot, sticky weather, and then I hate it, too, but I also love to hate it. M got a box fan, it's by the bed now, just blowing cool air. When I jump out of the shower in the morning, it chills my wet skin and I hate it, hate it, hate it. I don't like the cold. But he likes the senseless noise, the constant nothingness, the whirring.

He likes voices, but I prefer instrumental music. We're planning on going to Ireland in September for Deborah's wedding. The arrangements are almost in place. The lodging. I've never been to Ireland. M's been playing the Dubliners on repeat. I've been thinking about history, and the past. He got this five hour mini series on Ireland's history. He's also part Irish. 75% of him. So he says. It's his culture. His past. We're all so fragmented nowadays, aren't we? We're all just wondering how this could happen, how we could come to be. Maybe we won't go at all though.

My computer's running low on juice. It's not going to be 80 today, and I'm relieved. I'm listening to Batman on repeat. Watch the World Burn.

I'll go through phases, I need the constant of the instrumental in the background, over and over again. It calms a part of my mind I think, and the other part can imagine.

Whatever. It's all bullshit. I'm going to the park.