What I'm Excited About This Morning.

I've got it down now. I hope. Waking up at 5:30, going to pilates or the gym or yoga and then getting ready for work, going to work, writing on my break, writing at night. Wake up. Repeat. Wake up. Repeat.

Karen said, she said, well, they didn't take any care to get rid of the widows, and then I looked at the book in a new light. She was right, of course. Always. But they don't tell you that. Don't tell you how to fix widows, no one had a widow release party. Or gives you a second chance with font or spacing. It was just wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. It's just, here, here, finish, finish it will you?

This is all my fault.

I'm okay with it though. It's not over yet. None of this is.

Today, secretly, no, I asked. I had a piece of pizza left in the fridge. It was from Dan. It was from my co-worker, he stayed late and then had pizza and there were some leftover slices and I ate one cold, the pepperoni fat congealing on the slice. It wasn't even ten in the morning.

My mom said not to eat nitrates, so deli meats are out. I thought about it, sometimes, always, I was making sandwiches for lunch. Tofurkey and provolone, then genoa salami.

I think the salami gives me heart burn, not sure.

I've signed up for a class at UCLA, it starts the last week in January. We get a reimbursement through work, so I figure I should take advantage of it, don't you? Don't you now? Yes.

Rewriting. Getting better. Need to put things away for awhile. Always have a desire to work on new stuff, new uncomplicated stuff. But I guess that doesn't make it exciting, does it?

Today when I was walking to work there was a used condom on the ground, swirling on the sidewalk, stuck. Sticky. Well, I didn't pick it up, don't worry about it. Okay?

I need more tea. I've been eating poorly. I just had some stupid caramel chocolate from a stupid chocolate box.

My friend ditched me last night, but I made a bet that she would and got fifty bucks for it. I actually don't mind actually, because last night was really fun, and money, that's always fun too. Good to see old friends.

Always.

Old and new.

I've been obsessed with boots lately. I feel like if I buy one more pair I'll be happy, but then I do and I say, you know what would make this even better? Another pair of boots.

When did I turn into such a girl? A different shoe for a different mood. But no, not shoes, just boots.

Glorious, glorious buggaboots.